Staying the Course
Not feeling a sense of progress? Struggling to maintain motivation? Feeling an overwhelming pressure to achieve and meet deadlines?
When we lose a sense of progress, we can start to feel defeated and really punish ourselves for missing a target, or not doing as much as we “could have,” or “should have.”
However, more often than not, we are setting ourselves up to fail from the start… Setting goals that are too rigid, unrealistic, or too specific.
For example: millions of people set New Year’s resolutions every year to go to the gym. Frequently setting a specific target like going to the gym 5 times a week, and aiming to get a 6 pack by the end of the month. And when this doesn’t happen, they just stop!
It is likely they stopped because they didn’t see the results immediately, or failed to get to the gym as often as they set out too, losing endorphins and motivation pretty early on in the process. Yet, realistically, results like these in the gym can take up to 6 + months, and require a build-up of activity over time.
Really BIG and important goals usually aren’t easy, or fast - because goals worth achieving take a lot of time and persistence!
So today we are going to explore 3 tools that will help you maintain motivation and overcome hurdles along the way to achieving your goals: creating INSIGHTful SMART goals, developing the skill of sticktoitiveness¹ and celebrating small successes along the way!
1. INSIGHTful SMART goals
The SMART goal approach to creating healthier habits is one of the most common approaches used by trainers and psychologists working with clients - to find out more about SMART goals, check out my other blog “An Introduction to Setting Effective Goals.” While it is a useful and proven approach in certain contexts, the first concept of making the goal “specific” hasn’t shown to be so effective when it comes to starting new habits!
It seems logical to set a clear and specific goal when starting something new. It allows you to get a clear vision of where you’re going and what you’re aiming for. However, these more specific goals have been shown to be more effective when you’ve already been doing something for a while and just want to get even better. Yet, if you’re just starting your journey to a healthier lifestyle, and have minimal experience with exercise, eating well, or practicing mindfulness, more vague goals are optimal over the specific approach.
For example, a “vague” goal could be aiming to get to the gym a few times during the week. This type of goal doesn’t create specific and rigid expectations of what you “should” or “have” to do in the week (which may in fact lead you to be more likely to actually follow through with doing what you set out to do), and allows more flexibility. Life happens, things change and sometimes goals need to shift!
It’s also important to make the process FUN! Setting a new goal to get fit or eat more healthy doesn’t have to be boring.
For example, if you want to improve your fitness, that doesn’t necessarily “have to be” doing a high intensity training session for 1 hour, 5 times a week (although if that’s fun for you and what you like, then you do you!!!). It could also look like joining a social sports team 1-2 nights a week (e.g., netball, football, basketball etc..), walking with a friend (and if you’re lucky they have dogs!) at the local park, wandering along the beach (location pending), getting out for a swim, or going for a hike in nature! If you choose something you enjoy, or venture to try something you think you might like, you are FAR, FAR more likely to follow through with it.
Starting something new can feel overwhelming and difficult, so it’s best to not add extra pressures with rigid and specific expectations! So let’s keep it vague, flexible and fun, and swap the S for a V (vague) when setting your INSIGHTful SMART goals.
2. Sticking to it
Sticktoitiveness is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.
Taking committed actions is a key ingredient to grit and sticktoitivness that you’ll need in order to maintain motivation during the tough moments. Committed actions help us really stick to the plan, even during the toughest moments.
To take committed action is to not spend energy trying to get rid of emotions, but to embrace them; they are in fact part of the journey to follow through with your goals.
“When I feel flat, tired, sad, I’m not going to hope I don’t feel that.” - anonymous
For example, someone who commits to the action of running 5 days a week may respond to waking up with tiredness by saying to themselves, “I’m going to get up and run with that tiredness anyway.”
It’s not easy, but with practice you can develop this really effective and helpful skill of sticktoitiveness. Committed actions like going for a run despite having difficult feelings, creates greater flexibility to do what’s important in more situations and scenarios - not just when you feel really good. By doing this you are teaching your brain that, “I can run even when I feel tired,” or “even when I think it will be hard.”
Try it out, and let us know how you go in the comments below!
Remember, although sticktoiveness is the notion of fully committing to the actions that take you towards your goals, it doesn’t mean blindly pushing forward to achieve your goal at any cost! There’s always a balance my friends, and it’s important to remember that we’re only human. Being human means that there will be some days where you might have to shift your goals to accommodate your current circumstances.
For example, if you wake up and your body is aching, you had a poor sleep, and you’ve been overdoing it with work and other exercise, you might consciously and purposefully choose to rest that day. If that’s what you decide your body and mind need that day, then that’s okay.
You haven’t failed because you missed a day, and you haven’t gone backwards, rather you’ve made a healthy choice to adjust your training schedule, based on what your mind and body NEEDED at the time. The end destination will still be the same, you’ve just changed your route.
There’s a BIG difference between letting go of a goal because it’s no longer in alignment with what we perhaps need (or want), and stopping because it’s too hard or we just don’t “feel like it.”
3. Celebrating small successes along the way
Shifting our focus from the outcome to achieving a series of process-based goals, allows us to feel a lot more in control of the results, which ultimately leads to more lasting and meaningful changes.
In order to achieve this, we should start by breaking whatever goals we have into phases (short 4-6 weeks, mid 2-6 months, and long-term 1-2 years), and consistently evaluate and reevaluate them in order to make sure they’re still in line with where we want to go.
Most importantly, I want us to really CELEBRATE every step of our journey on the way to our “destination” (e.g., giving yourself praise for getting out for a run even though you were tired or not feeling it etc…).
When we direct our focus and energy on the day-to-day actions and behaviours we need to take to reach our aspirations, the outcome takes care of itself. If you do this, you will get a greater sense of progress during the process, and this will lead to a heightened ability to maintain motivation and stay the course!
Although you may not be seeing the numbers improve (e.g., time/speed, your weight, muscle/fat ratio) every moment of the way, the most important thing is that you are working towards your goals and being persistent.
PS. It’s likely that when you feel far away and frustrated from reaching your goal it’s a sign you're getting closer, so don’t give up - you just need that sticktoitiveness to get through to the other side and reep the rewards of all your hard work! It’s SO worth it!
Many people get discouraged when they don’t see quick improvement or changes, and give up. This is why setting milestones on the journey to becoming a better person, developing stictoitivenness, and having process-based goals is so important for reaching your longer-term goals too!
For personalised support with maintaining motivation and setting goals, book a session with Sabrina today!
Reference
Duckworth, A. L., Peterson, C., Matthews, M. D., & Kelly, D. R. (2007). Grit: Perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(6), 1087–1101. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.92.6.1087
